Renee's Love of Learning...Part I

"Being authentic can be one of the most challenging prospects life throws our way -- especially when making waves in business or making drastic life changes.  Regardless, authenticity is respected, admired and is the driving factor of those who achieve the success born in dreams.  By maintaining your true self, the world will relate to you, will want to know you and will certainly provide the opportunities necessary to reach the stars."  --Loren Ridinger, in her Huffington Post blog, Staying True to Yourself.

It has been Renee's authenticity that has been her guide on her journey.  As Loren stated, being authentic isn't always easy, and there have been moments where Renee realized she wasn't being true to herself.  It was those moments that she quickly got back on her own 'yellow brick road.'  I had expressed my admiration to Renee for the courage she displayed at those moments in her life.  For her, however, it wasn't courage, it was just what she felt she had to do.  THAT, my friends, is authenticity, and what you'll see from Renee's journey.

FOR THE LOVE OF LEARNING

We each have different interests that motivate us.  For Renee, it feels like a love of learning has been the thread throughout her journey.  When she's not able to learn about what interests her, she’s not happy and finds herself in a place of discomfort.  When she is learning, most notably about how we all grow and develop and how our personalities are shaped, she is in her element.  This is Renee’s love of learning journey.

“When I had gone with what “made sense,” I was bored to death.”

For Renee, this theme emerged when she went to college and majored in Accounting…because it “made sense.”  When she graduated from Morgan State University, she hated accounting.  Following college, she went into a management-training program for a department store in LA, but within 2 years, she had moved to IBM.  It was where her mother, father and brother had each worked, and IBM was big on bringing in family.  It “made sense” to be there.

Now, one would think that a sheer dislike of accounting would drive an individual further from the subject matter.  Unfortunately, as many of us know too well, our heads tend to override those strong emotions when we think we need  “to do what’s right.”  This is exactly what occurred next in Renee’s journey.

Renee as a girl
c. Cecilia Moseley

For as long as Renee could remember, she wanted to open her own business.  She had been inspired as a girl by a shop in SF.  She loved the intimacy it created between the owner and the customers as well as the eclectic nature of the items on display.  Renee’s face still lights up when talking of that store. 

With the desire to eventually open her own store, Renee left IBM and joined an accounting firm, KPMG, to become a CPA.  Yes, she went head first into that which she didn’t really like. She felt it was important to learn the numbers if she was going to start her own business.  She felt it was the “thing to do.”

It didn’t take long for those exceptionally strong feelings of dislike for accounting to take hold of Renee.  After couple of years, she knew she was going to quit.  In the process of getting to that point, she had a roommate who was applying to the Master’s program in Social Welfare at UCLA.  Renee took a look at the application and was intrigued.  The way it sounded on the application, a Master’s in Social Welfare provided the ability to learn about who you were and how to expand upon that in community.  Something in Renee was triggered.  

“Selling underwear gave me freedom.”

Renee quit her job and moved to Atlanta – for two months.  Why Atlanta?  Well, she attended several classes for IBM there, thought it was more diverse than LA, and could be a fun place for a fresh start.  She wanted to get out of LA.  Within two months, she was back in her car, this time pointed towards San Francisco. Renee noted that she was never one to sit in discomfort.  Nothing about Atlanta clicked.  Her housing situation didn’t work itself out, her job at a furniture store wasn’t anything that got her excited, and well, Atlanta was still the South.  As diverse as it was, certain attitudes hadn’t quite caught up with the times or the population.  All signs told her to return to California.

She moved in with her mother in SF, so she could be thoughtful about figuring out her path.  By living with her mom, she could get a job that covered her expenses like car insurance and gave her the space and time to explore.  Selling lingerie at Nordstrom’s did just that, and ironically, she earned pretty good money from it – as much as she had when she did a bit of consulting post her days at KPMG.  Most importantly, this time was freeing for Renee.

How did she go about exploring what intrigued her about social welfare work?  She called LCSW’s (Licensed Clinical Social Work) out of the phone book and asked them about their experiences.  She began to read quite a bit about self-growth, how to change who you are, and personality development.  One of her favorite shows on TV at the time was Dr. Brazelton’s show on child development.  She was fascinated by it all, and it just felt natural to keep following that path.  She also reflected on her own experiences.  When she had quit the accounting firm, she had panicked about what she would do next and went to see a therapist.  (In today’s world, this could easily be a ‘life coach.’)  She liked what the therapist did.  She followed all of these signs and applied to graduate school.

Renee applied to Berkeley and UCLA’s programs. Because she was living in SF, she REALLY hoped she would get into Berkeley.  However, the universe has a way of smiling on us even when it doesn’t feel like it.  She didn’t get into Berkeley, which was a good thing.  Renee was most interested in clinical work (which is more intimate and is reminiscent of the intimacy she loved about her favorite shop as a girl) and Berkeley didn’t have a clinical branch in their program.  UCLA did and she got in.

“I found my tribe.”

When we do what resonates most with us, we come to life.  This is what happened to Renee when she entered her graduate program.  She got involved in student life activities ranging from the Black Caucus to the student body liaison committee to the Dean.  She found people who were like her.  They were smart, funny, and were just as interested in learning as she was.  She found her people.  She found her tribe.

c. istockphoto

She had two internships that also carried this theme.  The first was with Child Protection Services where she learned first-hand about child welfare.  It was great experience, and she also learned what she didn’t want to do.  The second was with Drew Child Development Corporation, and this is where she felt like she came home.

Drew Child Development Corporation was run by a group black woman – all with PhD’s.  As Renee said, “they were all REALLY smart.”  They all became good friends and even traveled on vacation together.  Once again, she was with her tribe. 

While she worked at Drew, she got licensed and had her own private practice on the side.   She kept up a busy life, and eventually, she out-grew her role at Drew.  She started to get tired of having multiple commitments in her professional life – private clients, corporate clients, working with the agencies, etc.  It became harder and harder to drive into work each morning.  And she was simply exhausted.  A friend suggested she get a doctor’s note and take some time off.  For Renee, she had always been the worker bee, in work early every morning, and never took a sick day.  This was out of character for her, but her exhaustion forced her to pursue it.  Sure enough, her doctor didn’t blink an eye and wrote a note.  The next day was the first day of a much needed three-week respite.

At the end of her three weeks, as she was driving into work, she was filled with the same feelings of dread.  She knew it wasn’t exhaustion.  She wasn’t learning and was bored.  It was time for a change.

Next up...Seeking the change Renee needed in Part II.