Renee's Love of Learning...Part I

"Being authentic can be one of the most challenging prospects life throws our way -- especially when making waves in business or making drastic life changes.  Regardless, authenticity is respected, admired and is the driving factor of those who achieve the success born in dreams.  By maintaining your true self, the world will relate to you, will want to know you and will certainly provide the opportunities necessary to reach the stars."  --Loren Ridinger, in her Huffington Post blog, Staying True to Yourself.

It has been Renee's authenticity that has been her guide on her journey.  As Loren stated, being authentic isn't always easy, and there have been moments where Renee realized she wasn't being true to herself.  It was those moments that she quickly got back on her own 'yellow brick road.'  I had expressed my admiration to Renee for the courage she displayed at those moments in her life.  For her, however, it wasn't courage, it was just what she felt she had to do.  THAT, my friends, is authenticity, and what you'll see from Renee's journey.

FOR THE LOVE OF LEARNING

We each have different interests that motivate us.  For Renee, it feels like a love of learning has been the thread throughout her journey.  When she's not able to learn about what interests her, she’s not happy and finds herself in a place of discomfort.  When she is learning, most notably about how we all grow and develop and how our personalities are shaped, she is in her element.  This is Renee’s love of learning journey.

“When I had gone with what “made sense,” I was bored to death.”

For Renee, this theme emerged when she went to college and majored in Accounting…because it “made sense.”  When she graduated from Morgan State University, she hated accounting.  Following college, she went into a management-training program for a department store in LA, but within 2 years, she had moved to IBM.  It was where her mother, father and brother had each worked, and IBM was big on bringing in family.  It “made sense” to be there.

Now, one would think that a sheer dislike of accounting would drive an individual further from the subject matter.  Unfortunately, as many of us know too well, our heads tend to override those strong emotions when we think we need  “to do what’s right.”  This is exactly what occurred next in Renee’s journey.

Renee as a girl
c. Cecilia Moseley

For as long as Renee could remember, she wanted to open her own business.  She had been inspired as a girl by a shop in SF.  She loved the intimacy it created between the owner and the customers as well as the eclectic nature of the items on display.  Renee’s face still lights up when talking of that store. 

With the desire to eventually open her own store, Renee left IBM and joined an accounting firm, KPMG, to become a CPA.  Yes, she went head first into that which she didn’t really like. She felt it was important to learn the numbers if she was going to start her own business.  She felt it was the “thing to do.”

It didn’t take long for those exceptionally strong feelings of dislike for accounting to take hold of Renee.  After couple of years, she knew she was going to quit.  In the process of getting to that point, she had a roommate who was applying to the Master’s program in Social Welfare at UCLA.  Renee took a look at the application and was intrigued.  The way it sounded on the application, a Master’s in Social Welfare provided the ability to learn about who you were and how to expand upon that in community.  Something in Renee was triggered.  

“Selling underwear gave me freedom.”

Renee quit her job and moved to Atlanta – for two months.  Why Atlanta?  Well, she attended several classes for IBM there, thought it was more diverse than LA, and could be a fun place for a fresh start.  She wanted to get out of LA.  Within two months, she was back in her car, this time pointed towards San Francisco. Renee noted that she was never one to sit in discomfort.  Nothing about Atlanta clicked.  Her housing situation didn’t work itself out, her job at a furniture store wasn’t anything that got her excited, and well, Atlanta was still the South.  As diverse as it was, certain attitudes hadn’t quite caught up with the times or the population.  All signs told her to return to California.

She moved in with her mother in SF, so she could be thoughtful about figuring out her path.  By living with her mom, she could get a job that covered her expenses like car insurance and gave her the space and time to explore.  Selling lingerie at Nordstrom’s did just that, and ironically, she earned pretty good money from it – as much as she had when she did a bit of consulting post her days at KPMG.  Most importantly, this time was freeing for Renee.

How did she go about exploring what intrigued her about social welfare work?  She called LCSW’s (Licensed Clinical Social Work) out of the phone book and asked them about their experiences.  She began to read quite a bit about self-growth, how to change who you are, and personality development.  One of her favorite shows on TV at the time was Dr. Brazelton’s show on child development.  She was fascinated by it all, and it just felt natural to keep following that path.  She also reflected on her own experiences.  When she had quit the accounting firm, she had panicked about what she would do next and went to see a therapist.  (In today’s world, this could easily be a ‘life coach.’)  She liked what the therapist did.  She followed all of these signs and applied to graduate school.

Renee applied to Berkeley and UCLA’s programs. Because she was living in SF, she REALLY hoped she would get into Berkeley.  However, the universe has a way of smiling on us even when it doesn’t feel like it.  She didn’t get into Berkeley, which was a good thing.  Renee was most interested in clinical work (which is more intimate and is reminiscent of the intimacy she loved about her favorite shop as a girl) and Berkeley didn’t have a clinical branch in their program.  UCLA did and she got in.

“I found my tribe.”

When we do what resonates most with us, we come to life.  This is what happened to Renee when she entered her graduate program.  She got involved in student life activities ranging from the Black Caucus to the student body liaison committee to the Dean.  She found people who were like her.  They were smart, funny, and were just as interested in learning as she was.  She found her people.  She found her tribe.

c. istockphoto

She had two internships that also carried this theme.  The first was with Child Protection Services where she learned first-hand about child welfare.  It was great experience, and she also learned what she didn’t want to do.  The second was with Drew Child Development Corporation, and this is where she felt like she came home.

Drew Child Development Corporation was run by a group black woman – all with PhD’s.  As Renee said, “they were all REALLY smart.”  They all became good friends and even traveled on vacation together.  Once again, she was with her tribe. 

While she worked at Drew, she got licensed and had her own private practice on the side.   She kept up a busy life, and eventually, she out-grew her role at Drew.  She started to get tired of having multiple commitments in her professional life – private clients, corporate clients, working with the agencies, etc.  It became harder and harder to drive into work each morning.  And she was simply exhausted.  A friend suggested she get a doctor’s note and take some time off.  For Renee, she had always been the worker bee, in work early every morning, and never took a sick day.  This was out of character for her, but her exhaustion forced her to pursue it.  Sure enough, her doctor didn’t blink an eye and wrote a note.  The next day was the first day of a much needed three-week respite.

At the end of her three weeks, as she was driving into work, she was filled with the same feelings of dread.  She knew it wasn’t exhaustion.  She wasn’t learning and was bored.  It was time for a change.

Next up...Seeking the change Renee needed in Part II.

What does a Program Director do all day?

My intention behind spending a day with people in their jobs is two-fold.  I hope to gain some perspective on the reality of various jobs and learn about people’s journeys that got them to their current place.  With any hope, you may get a glimpse into a world you may not have known, and/or you may discover an insight that may help you when looking down your own “yellow brick road.”  Let’s get our ruby slippers on!

Renee Moseley, LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker), is the Program Director at Bridge Meadows and a great friend of mine.  Last week, I wrote about an adoption ceremony that took place at Bridge Meadows, which is an extraordinary intergenerational housing community.  This week, we get to begin our exploration from jobs to journeys with Renee as my first "shadowee."  I am in Renee’s debt for how much of herself and her day she shared with me.   I had an amazing time and am now the biggest ambassador for Bridge Meadows because of her work.  Thank you, Renee.

Fluidity required

Renee Moseley and her infectious smile
c. Brooke Van Roekel

Some people smile from their head, some from their heart, and some people smile from their whole being.  Renee is one of those people who smiles from her whole being.  I swear, her smile comes from the inside-out, and she is quick to laugh which creates an ease for everyone around her.  It cannot be underestimated how crucial this is when intentionally building community, which is what Renee is doing every single day.

Being the Program Director at Bridge Meadows requires being a Tai Chi Master.  No, not really.  It does, however, require an ability to go with the flow, to channel people’s energies and move them in a positive direction which is not always an easy task when you’ve got 67 people who come from very different backgrounds and experiences and range in age from a few months to 89 years old.  There was one word that first popped into my mind when I observed Renee’s day – fluid.  It can also be used to describe how Renee handles her day – with fluidity and much grace and patience.

How does Renee describe her job? 

She sees herself as a liaison for the residents to help them get the services they need.  One resident deemed her the “Flow Facilitator.”  She runs 2 structured activities a week, which are ‘support’ circles.  The Wisdom Circle is for the elders and The Circle brings together the elders and adoptive and pre-adoptive parents.  A number of organizations like to volunteer their time and/or services, so Renee spends a lot of time coordinating those opportunities for the residents.  She keeps them engaged and working as a community, which takes intention and careful thought.  After two hours, I was wondering if it was break time!

Bridge Meadows is a very unique model and differs from the traditional social work model because Renee is in the community members’ homes.  She is a much bigger part of their lives than just having a private client relationship where she would see a client for an hour a week.  In fact, when a photographer volunteered himself to take family photos for the residents, a few kids asked Renee to be in their family portrait.  That is how important she has become to many of the residents.  She is a part of the family at Bridge Meadows.

What does her day look like?

9.30am

Renee shares an office with Derenda, the Executive Director
c. Brooke Van Roekel

Renee typically starts her day around 9.30am because she often times stays late to spend time with the residents in the evening.  For the first couple of hours, she focuses on her emails and phone calls needing action.  These are with the residents, various agency partners, other non-profits, case workers, therapists, and even the property manager.  Truth be told, she isn’t terribly fond of sitting at a desk doing emails.  She much prefers being up and engaging with people, which is good since that is what the majority of her day is spent doing.

10.30am

Renee met with the volunteers who were decorating the community room for the adoption ceremony.  Her role in this was to help them organize, provide a bit of direction and understanding of the flow of the ceremony and how that might impact their decorating.  As mentioned last week, it was a flurry of activity – much like one would find before a wedding.  So much to do and so little time!

12noon

She ran a few errands before the party in the afternoon.  (Ok, truthfully, she took her brother and sister-in-law’s dog to the doggie day care because it was going to be too long for little Ruby to go without being taken outside.)

1pm

Lunch with me and my 20 questions.  (That’s an understatement.)  During our lunch, the property manager popped her head in the door and asked about food quantities for the adoption ceremony.   She had some concern that there wasn’t going to be enough which led to the decision that she would go get a few more pans of lasagna.  Problem solved.  (These are the problems and issues that crop up throughout the entire day and where Renee exhibits that extraordinary grace and patience with each and every one.)

2pm

Renee took me on a tour.  We got 5 feet when we were stopped by one of the residents asking a question about the party.  We made it another 20 feet when another resident approached Renee about yet another question relating to the party.  Renee did try to run to the restroom, but was stopped by yet a third resident asking about an incident the previous night.  Did I mention the need to be fluid in this role?

2.30pm

Meeting with Dr. Derenda Schubert, the Executive Director, and a few MBA students conducting interviews for an award in Oregon that Bridge Meadows had been nominated.

3.30pm

Final prep for the party was under way, and Renee met the photographer and videographer who were going to be capturing the event.  She directed them where to set up all the while little kids were running around, she was checking one little boy’s homework, and an elder was bending her ear about an issue with another member of the community.   (Patience is a virtue, and Renee has it in spades particularly at moments like these.)

4.00pm

Special guests (board members, account directors of other non-profits, case workers, etc.) started to arrive and Renee and Derenda took turns greeting them while answering the periodic question from a youngster usually asking when they could get a piece of the cake. 

From 2 years old to the elders,
Renee engages all
c. Brooke Van Roekel

4.20pm

After a bit of a delay because the judge got stuck in traffic, the ceremony began and Renee could sit back and enjoy it. 

5.15pm

The ceremony concluded, and there was much interaction with all of the residents, the special guests, and the judge.  Renee was grabbed in a few different directions – even being asked to take a few family photos.

All in a day's work!
c. Brooke Van Roekel

5.30pm

Renee took a few of the guests on a tour of Bridge Meadows 

6.15pm

Helped to tidy up, checked-in with a few of the residents, and sent a few necessary emails.

7.45pm

Was able to get in her car and head home.  Whew!

I have highlighted the phenomenal amount of patience that appears to be needed for a role like this.  What I saw in Renee was more than patience; it was presence.  What struck me the most was how she brought that to every interaction – regardless of how impromptu they were. 

It is very common to hear people describe their jobs that no two days are the same.  For Renee, I can attest to the fact that this is indeed the case.  She is dealing with 29 elders, 27 kids and 11 parents.  There are a whole lot of dynamics in that mix and when you add the support agencies and other resources involved, she is indeed a “Flow Facilitator.”

*****************

Next up, we’ll start to learn about Renee’s journey and how she came to be a LCSW and came to be at Bridge Meadows…It’s filled with all kinds of fun twists and turns!

The Power of We in community

This blog is about what people's day jobs actually look like along with their journeys of getting there.  It was my journey that led me to Renee Moseley, LCSW, the Program Director for Bridge Meadows and where I got to witness one of the most meaningful expressions of the 'Power of We.'  I will get to Renee's journey and what her day looks like in the next post, but today, the Blog Action Day, I would like to pay tribute to an extraordinary community that is living the 'Power of We.'

Courtyard at Bridge Meadows
(photo credit: Brooke Van Roekel)

A little bit of background on Bridge Meadows

Bridge Meadows is an intergenerational housing community where "foster youth find permanent homes, adoptive parents find support to raise healthy families, and elders are able to re-engage in a purpose-filled life." (Bridge Meadows collateral)  In short, it is doing something truly amazing in Portland.  It is intentionally creating community and support systems across multiple generations.  Children who have been in the foster care system find permanence with their adoptive families and the elders get a sense of meaningful purpose.  It was modeled after Hope Meadows, outside of Chicago, and Treehouse, in Massachusetts.

Living at Bridge Meadows

The library at Bridge Meadows
(photo credit:  Brooke Van Roekel)

Bridge Meadows has 9 homes for adoptive families, 27 apartments for elders (55+), a community room, a computer room, a community garden, and a surprisingly well-stocked library.  Renee told me that they had over 3000 books and couldn't even display all of them.  One of the conditions of living at Bridge Meadows is that the elders must complete 100 hours of community service each quarter.  This can entail taking another elder to the doctor, watching an adoptive parents' little ones for a few hours, tutoring the children, and many other activities.

Bridge Meadows is fortunate enough to be blessed with access to terrific resources.  When I was there last week, a nurse was holding office hours that the elders could sign-up for.  A member of the community wanted to donate her time to offer Tai Chi.  The previous weekend, a photographer donated his time and talent to take photos of the families.  The children got to decide who was in their family.  Because of the strong community that exists, some children identified 20 people!  That's just the kind of place it is and the kind of community they are fostering.

The 'Power of We':  A New Family is created

The day I spent with Renee was a very special day at Bridge Meadows.  An adoption ceremony was taking place.  I hadn't fully processed what this would entail, but when I got to witness it, I was incredibly honored to be there.  One of the members, a single woman, was adopting three children.  Instead of performing this ceremony in a courtroom, where it traditionally happens, it was arranged to take place in the community room at Bridge Meadows, in front of all of the residents, the whole family at Bridge Meadows.

The Community Room decorated for the ceremony
(photo credit:  Brooke Van Roekel)

The community room was decorated like it was a wedding, and the flurry of activity in preparation was very much like a wedding.  Table cloths and flowers sat on all of the tables.  Streamers, balloons, and 'CONGRATULATIONS' signs decorated the walls.  The adoptive mother* had set up a table that had a guest book for people to write their well wishes and a framed collage of photos of the entire family (as the kids had been living with her since May).  There was even a big cake.  Yum!  Everyone was abuzz with anticipation.

What made this ceremony so special was how intentional it was and the thought that the mother had put into it.  It was an amazing display of creating meaning with this very significant event for everyone.  The young boys, her two sons, were dressed in button-down shirts and ties, and her daughter was wearing a bright pink dress, very special dress that I suspect may have been bought for just this occasion.  All four of them, along with the judge, stood at the front of the room.  Mom opened the ceremony with a song to her kids.  Beautifully singing Jason Mraz's song, "I won't give up" a cappella, the tears started flowing from everyone in the room.  The judge performed all of her duties, making the pronouncements of the adoptions and signing all of the necessary paperwork - the documentation of the adoption and the birth certificates.  After that, the mother had given each of her children a bag of colored sand.  As each child poured their sand into a jar on the table, Mom read what the color represented and the qualities that each child embodied, and there was a color for her, too.  This was the blending of their family becoming one.  She then presented a medal to each of the boys and a necklace to the little girl, a symbol of her commitment to each of them and a reminder of the strength they each possessed.  The tears really never stopped throughout the whole ceremony.

The room and the community erupted with pure joy and elation when everything was final.  The celebrating could begin.  Pans of lasagna were brought out along with baguettes, and everyone began to dig in.  There were hugs, tears, and smiles from everyone.

They say that it takes a village to raise a child.  This is a community that is doing just that.  It is a community that believes in the Power of WE.

Next week, you'll get to hear Renee's amazing journey and the incredible work she does each and every day.

*Out of respect for the new family, I have purposefully omitted their names.